


How hard can it be?

by LoveDevilKing



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Gen, Lucifer Lockdown, Prompt for Smiles, Raves and body glitter, Sleepovers, Teenage Dorks, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveDevilKing/pseuds/LoveDevilKing
Summary: Lucifer is outmaneuvered by a group of 13-year-olds.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Linda Martin & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Lucifer & Original Characters, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Moningstar
Comments: 19
Kudos: 166
Collections: Prompts for Smiles





	How hard can it be?

**Author's Note:**

> First off, let me apologize if I am completely off my rocker with this story. It has been 40 years since I was a 13-year-old. I have no children and I have no idea if teenagers would act the way I have described. That being said, just remember this is fiction and I tried. 😎
> 
> For @Lucifamclowning who suggested the prompt "Linda-Has anyone seen Lucifer? Lucifer (lying face down on the floor)-Present" for the #PromptSmiles, #LuciferLockdown twitter challenge created by NotOneLine. We all need a little humor to help us every now and then. I hope this story fills that need.

Linda rode up in the elevator trying to keep the panic at bay. _Come on, come on_ , she silently urged the elevator to move faster. Charlie had been extra fussy tonight what with his teeth coming in and Amenadiel was out. When he got home and she was able to put Charlie down, she was finally able to look at her phone.

That was when she saw his text.

**Help me, please.**

That was over an hour ago. What was going on? What had happened? The last time she had gotten a text like that, he was having a traumatic existential crisis. Not to mention that demons had shown up on Earth not much later. _Please, God, don’t let something like that happen again._ She had tried to call him back but he didn’t answer his phone. It kept going to voicemail. 

Finally, the elevator reached to top floor and she left it as soon as the doors opened up enough to let her out. She paused and took in her surroundings. It looked like a tornado had gone through the penthouse. The furniture was pushed back and the rug was shoved into one corner. Pillows were strewn around the room and on the piano. Glasses and plates were on the bar and other flat surfaces.

Linda eased her way further into the room. Suddenly a young girl, no more than Trixie’s age came up the stairs, yawning. 

“’Zup?” she sleepily said to Linda, continuing on her way to master bedroom.

“Have you seen Lucifer?” Linda called to the girl’s retreating back.

“Present,” a voice called out from behind the couch, followed by a raised hand.

Linda went and leaned over the couch to see Lucifer lying face down on the floor. He didn’t seem to be injured.

“Lucifer, what is going on? Who is that girl?” _And why did you need help,_ she didn’t say aloud.

Lucifer raised up but remained seated on the floor. “Oh, Doctor. It was horrible. Please tell me that you are real and I haven’t fallen into a Hell-loop.” His hair was a mess and his clothes were wrinkled. He looked at her with wide staring eyes.

“First things, first, Lucifer. Who was that girl?”

“Beatrice had a sleepover planned for weeks and I agreed that she could have it here. She has her own room after all.”

_“Please Mom? Can we have the sleepover at the Penthouse? Please, please, pretty please?” Trixie begged her Mom. Lucifer’s place was just so cool and everyone would be talking about it for weeks._

_“Monkey, I don’t think…”_

_“I think it is a marvelous idea. I have a far superior entertainment system and access to all the major streaming services.”_

_“Lucifer, you do realize you are talking about hosting a group of 13-year-old girls, right?”_

_“Yes, yes, but I want Beatrice to feel at home there.” Chloe and Lucifer hadn’t officially moved in together but he had changed one of the guest rooms so Trixie would have a place of her own when they stayed over. “Besides, Detective, I ruled over Maze and her ilk for centuries, how hard could it be?”_

“Where’s Chloe?” Linda asked, looking around for the Detective.

“At the precinct. Daniel called to say that the suspect that they had been tracking the past few months had been found and was in interrogation. He told her to come down if she wanted to talk to him before he lawyered up. I told her I would watch the children.” He shuttered when he mentioned the girls.

“Okay. So, what happened?” She gestured around the room.

Lucifer, still on the floor, got a haunted look on his face and told his tale.

_“You girls be good and don’t give Lucifer any trouble. Okay?” Chloe said as she made her way to the elevator._

_A mixture of “yes, Mom” and “yes, Ms. Decker” followed her across the Penthouse. Lucifer pushed the button to call the elevator and then wrapped his arms around Chloe to give her a good-bye kiss. They broke apart when the doors opened and she waved to the girls and went on her way._

_“Oooooo,” a chorus of high-pitched voices rang out into the flat._

_“That was so sweet,” one girl added. April, he thought her name was._

_“And so romantic,” said a dark-haired one. Raven, Ragan, something like that._

_“So, how did you meet?”_

_“Who said ‘I love you’ first?”_

_“Are you going to get married?”_

_The questions were coming so fast Lucifer didn’t know who asked what. Panic started creeping up his throat and he didn’t know what to say or do. He didn’t know how to stop the barrage of questions._

_“Did you kiss her first? I bet you did; the guy ALWAYS kisses first,” said a petite blond named Livy. Short for Olivia, perhaps?_

_“The Detective and Lucifer sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes Love…,” the girls started singing._

_“Guys! You’re talking about my Mom!” Trixie shouted, scandalized._

_“Ah, ah, ah,” Lucifer’s ability to speak seemed to have fled in light of this turn of events. “I need a drink,” he mumbled under his breath but not low enough since apparently, they heard him._

_“Can we have a drink? Now that the Detective is gone, we can really have some fun.” This from the dark-haired one. Reegan! That was her name._

“Lucifer, you didn’t!”

“Of course not, Doctor. I'm a responsible Devil.”

_“Of course not!” Lucifer scoffed. “You are far too young. There is plenty of soda in the refrigerator.”_

_“But Lucifer,” Trixie piped up, “You can make us some drinks that don’t have alcohol. Maze made me a Shirley Temple once.”_

_“She did what?!”_

_“I didn’t get to drink it though. Pretty please? It would be so cool and you always say that we should do whatever we desire if it makes us happy.” She gave him her best pleading look. The rest of her friends followed suit and pleaded with him as well with cries of ‘Please, Mr. Morningstar’._

_“Bloody hell,” he thought to himself. “Hoisted by my own petard.”_

_“Very well, but not a word to your Mother, hm?”_

_They all agreed and sat on the stools at the bar._

_In actuality, it was only just some fruit juices and non-alcoholic syrups with fruit garnishes but the girls loved it. Pretending that they were so sophisticated with their cocktail and martini glasses._

_“We should pretend we are at a rave!” One enterprising young one shouted out._

_“Yeah,” came the clamor of agreements._

_“And Lucifer has black-lightening.” Trixie contributed._

_“What!” A shocked Lucifer turned to her. How did she know what he had? It was true but he had only used it during some of his more adventurous parties._

_Now, he had girls running all over the place, moving his furniture and running from Beatrice’s room to the master bath. Why were they in his bathroom?_

_Trixie had gone behind the bar and found the remote to the lighting and sound system. Two of the girls were scrolling on their phones and the rest were somewhere else. He found himself running around the flat trying to corral the little cretins. This, this was getting out of hand._

_“I have body glitter!” April sang out as she ran from the guest quarters to the bathroom._

_Body Glitter????? Lucifer shuttered. That was it. That was the last straw. He knew when he was out-matched and made his way out onto the balcony to call in reinforcements. But who to call? He couldn’t call the Detective. She would never trust him with her Spawn ever again. Ella was out of town and Maze was out on a bounty. That left Linda. She was a mother; she would know what to do._

_As soon as he hit SEND, a loud, screeching noise blared through his sound system. It startled him so bad, he dropped his phone and watched as it fell into the hot tub. It sounded like someone was being flayed alive, a sound he was all too familiar with by the way, but he realized it was some sort of music. It was something the girls were happy with considering the yells and screams they were emitting._

_When he looked into the living room, he could tell that they were indeed pretending that the were at a rave. They had on shirts and pants that glowed under the lights along with glitter on their faces and arms. They were jumping and dancing around, singing to the music. Was this okay? It wasn’t like they could disturb anyone. Hell, he had thrown any number of loud parties but was this something that he should allow in children so young? As he looked on, he was happy to note that they turned the music down to a more acceptable level, probably so they could hear one another. However, he thought it was time to intervene when they started bringing pillows out of his bedroom._

_“Now, just one minute…” was as far as he got before he got a pillow in the stomach followed by one to the face. He was NOT having a pillow fight with 13-year-olds!_

_He finally gave up chasing them after about 15 minutes. There were just too many of them and they were ruthless with the pillows. When he found himself on the floor behind the couch, he decided that surrender was the better part of valor and just stayed down._

“What am I going to do, Doctor? How am I going to explain this to the Detective? I’ve let her down. How will she ever forgive me?” He was still on the floor and had gripped Linda’s hands as he beseeched her.

“Lucifer, it doesn’t sound to me like there is a problem.” Linda tried to reassure him. “It seems to me you did everything right.”

“I did?” he gaped at her in disbelief.

“Yes. Children at this age are pretty self-sufficient. All a parent,” she paused when Lucifer scoffed at her, “an adult then, has to do is provide a safe environment and prevent any overt dangerous activities.”

He just looked at her.

“Did they have enough to eat and drink? Are they safe?”

“Yes, on both counts”

“Did they break anything or damage any of your property?”

“Well, no. They did move the furniture out of the way before they had their little dance.”

“Did they drink any alcohol or do any drugs?”

“Of course not, as if I would EVER allow that type of behavior while they are in my care.” He had risen off the floor, he was so offended. He couldn’t believe she would think so little of him.

Linda just smiled. “I only have one more question. Why are they in your bedroom?”

“Well, um, about that.” Now Lucifer looked extremely uncomfortable. “During the pillow massacre, they discovered that my bed was big enough to hold all of them and no one would be required to sleep on the floor of Beatrice’s room so they, um, they…”

“Made themselves at home?” she finished for him.

“Yes. They also informed me that they thought my room was ‘so cool’. Doctor, I never, ever wanted to hear that a 13-year-old thinks my bedroom is cool.” He had made his way to the bar and reached up to pull down a bottle of whiskey. He had made sure to put all the alcohol out of reach.

_Poor Lucifer_ , Linda thought to herself, trying not to laugh at him. She was sure it was a harrowing experience for him but she was so relieved that the problem wasn’t something more serious or dangerous.

“I’ll just go check on the girls, okay?”

Lucifer nodded his head and poured himself another drink. Hell had nothing on this night and he would need all the help he could get to forget it.

“Lucifer!” Chloe had returned and seen the state of the penthouse.

Lucifer choked on his drink and turned to stare at the Detective.

Linda chose that moment to come back from the bedroom and addressed Chloe. “I wouldn’t be too hard on him, Chloe. I think the girls may have taken advantage of his more… lenient nature.” She patted the Detective on the arm and made her way to the elevator. She waved to them as the doors closed.

“Now, Detective, I can explain.” Lucifer said, mentally gathering his courage.

_“This had better be good.”_ She kept a stern look on her face but she was laughing inside. The look on his face was priceless. Oh, she was going to milk this for all it was worth.


End file.
